I had a bit of a rant a couple of weeks ago. Posted a bit on facebook and twitter. It’s a bit silly really but it was after reading many posts on a discussion board (looking at jail breaking iPhone 3.1) I just read the “your” used instead of “you’re” one time too many. I vented my spleen and calmed down a bit, but it got me thinking: I’ve got a few hot buttons, things that I get really animated and angry about (and if you know me that’ll come as no surprise) The thing I wonder is: why these things and not others?
Initially I thought I’d have a rant about all those other things, but reading them it became clear: most of what presses my buttons is because it’s anti-science. Specifically: homeopathy, astrology, young Earth creationists and anti-vaccination people (or should I have lumped the first and last into alt-med proponents?) I think the world would be a better place without it, some of it does no active harm (with the demonstrable exception of homeopathy and the anti-vaccine crowd)
I also get frustrated at the climate of fear the news media seem to foster. No links here but life is crime is lower and, IMHO, life is safer than before. BTW there’s a great Penn&Teller episode on the Stranger Danger myth. Certainly not the pinnacle of journalism, but makes many strong and valid points.
I also get frustrated with politics: specifically the 2 party system we have. Things might be a bit better if the not-in-power team wasn’t called “the opposition”, or better yet if it wasn’t so adversarial. Also the rubbish left-right thing: I don’t fit on that scale, I average in the middle (I think) but I’m pretty left on some issues and pretty right on others… though I do see a common thread of freedom and personal responsibility.
Anyhow, I could (and have) been drawn into heated arguments on all these topics, but I’ve got a vested interest in all of them. The one that I wonder about is this:
Gay Marriage
I’m a strong believer in giving the state recognised rights of marriage to same sex couples. I’ve argued this point with many people, on and off line, and it seems that being anti-gay marriage comes down to not liking homosexuality generally. If they are up front about that I’ll understand it, I’ll still disagree with them, but at least I’ll understand. However, most people won’t come out and say it.
I realise I’m not exactly the poster child for the traditional marriage: I’m separated, not yet divorced and living with my (female) partner. I just don’t understand how people can be OK with me in my situation but can’t stand the idea that the state should recognise the union between 2 same sex people. I just don’t see how that jeopardises the institution more than I do.
The thing that really puzzles me about this is: I’ve got no stake in the whole thing! I’m not gay, I don’t (as far as I know) have any gay friends or family. So why does it bug me so much?
While puzzling over this I was talking to Mum, so we discussed the idea of marriage a bit. It clarified my thoughts a bit. I think of marriage as a statement of intent: you intend to be with this other person till one of you dies and would like society to recognise that.
I had a friend once complain that he and his partner were considered as a couple sometimes and not at others, depending on when it suits them (by the state that is). I had little sympathy, I figure it was up to him to disambiguate the whole thing, and unless and until he did that he could just deal with the mess.
I guess, when it come to it, this is a “hot button” for me because I really do believe in marriage. Two people who wish to be treated as a couple, as a family, by the state and society. I don’t see the relevance of who’s got what bits and who does what to who (or not). It’s about personal freedom.
BTW I do think using the word “marriage” is important. It’s got cultural significance, we know what it means. Naming things is really important, I’ve seen that enough in something as mundane as software development. Keeping that name doesn’t force any church or religion to recognise the union, but it does give it cultural traction and steps towards acceptance.
Afterward
I was talking to a friend about this post and his view was they we shouldn’t mess with what marriage is until it’s fixed properly: group marriages etc. frankly I disagree with that. Never mind the concept of group or line or whatever marriages; there’s no reason not to improve things a bit just because you cant go all they way. It’s a classic stalling tactic to say: we aren’t changing anything until we can fix it all.
Small steps in the right direction are worth while
